Vocals, rhythm guitar, banjo, mandolin. SPECIALTY: In charge of band security, including kickin' a$$ and takin' names. Doesn't ask for permission. Won't ask for forgiveness. He also has a cuddly side.

Vocals, rhythm guitar, harmonica. SPECIALTY: In charge of identifying speed camera zones for the band to avoid. Likes to unplug Mind Benders guitar amp halfway through Sweet Home Alabama solo, then says “really, can’t take a joke?”.

Vocals, bass guitar. SPECIALTY: plays one handed bass (ya gotta see it). Drives to gigs in a stolen stretch limo. Wears ridiculously excessive amounts of bling.

Drums, bongos, congas, triangle. SPECIALTY: throwing drum sticks at band members who aren't "playing good". Likes to unplug Big Country's bass amp halfway through Brown Eyed Girl bass solo, then says "deal with it".

Lead guitar, kazoo. Specializes in dodging flying drum sticks. Likes to detune Stix snare drum when he's not looking, then saying "drums don't sound good".